Normalcy
by kayak
Summary: Just another day on the Grand Line.


Normalcy

It was another typical day on the Grand Line. The birds were flying, the fish were swimming and the sea was waving. The Thousand Sunny had a steady strong wind against its sail. Nothing special. Nothing different.

On the top deck of the Sunny, Nami was sitting in her lounge chair and doing a little researching. Though in reality, what she really was doing was working on her suntan. The weather being really bright and clear, who wouldn't take the opportunity to relax and take in the sun. Besides, if anyone inquired, she could always claim she was multitasking.

Down below on the lawn deck, Nami could hear Brook and Zoro talking about sword techniques and other things related to swords. Given that she had little interest on the subject, she tuned out most of their conversation. Having Brook on-board gave Zoro someone to bond with, which was nice for Zoro, even though their sword-styles were distinctively different. But it wasn't long before the sounds of clashing metal reverberated the air.

The day had started out so peaceful too, Nami thought grudgingly.

Nami tried to focus on her work, concentrating hard on page she was reading. Finally she slapped closed her book in frustration and reached over for her drink. The only problem was, there was no drink.

Surprised that Sanji was lax in his duties, Nami didn't know if she should be concerned or annoyed at the oversight. Was there something distracting him or did he merely forget this one time?

Being somewhat curious and a little thirsty, Nami left her seat and climbed down the ladder to the galley to find him. She was taken back at what she found. The kitchen looked like a war zone, which was fairly unusual given how meticulous Sanji was with his kitchen. The walls and floor were splattered with gobs of unidentified substances. The cook, himself, wasn't doing any better than the current state of his domain. His hair was covered in the same sticky gob, but at least his pink apron managed to protect majority of his nice clothes.

Sanji appeared distressed and tired. "Nami-san," he breathed, running around frantic like a headless chicken. He had three pots simmering on the stove and the counter was cluttered with bowls, bottles and ingredients of all sorts. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you could make me a drink?" Nami asked slowly. She glanced around the room. She didn't what to make of the mess.

"Of course, my dear!" Sanji ran to the sink and turned on the faucet. He returned seconds later and handed her a glass of lukewarm water.

Nami stared at it with a dumbfounded expression. "What's this?"

"I'm sorry, Nami-san. I don't have time to make you something delic- Oh my god!" Sanji shrieked and darted past her to the other side of the dining room. He started wiping clean someone sitting at the dining table.

It was Luffy. Why Nami didn't notice him when she first came in was a mystery. Maybe because he was buried under a mess of goo.

"Sanji!" Luffy wailed, pounding his fists on the table. He wore a blue bonnet tied underneath his straw hat and a frilly bib.

"There, there. Here's your porridge." Sanji began spoon feeding Luffy. Luffy clapped his hands, enjoying his meal until his face changed to an unnatural blue color.

"Shit!"

He puked all over Sanji and then started crying, feeling very guilty about the whole thing.

Sanji rubbed Luffy's head trying to calm him down. "It's okay. I'll find you something to eat." Sanji then lifted him out of his chair and heaved him over his shoulder, patting his back. "There, there. Don't cry."

Nami's eyes widened and she was speechless. Her mind was screaming at her to leave, escape, run! It took her legs a few seconds to comply. First taking one slow step back, followed by another, her hands fumbled blindly for the handle of the door. The whole scene was impossible even on the craziest day.

The last thing Nami saw as she quietly shut the door was Sanji singing a lullaby and rocking Luffy back and forth in his arms.

Once outside, Nami calmed her nerves. What was that all about? She didn't dare look back inside to make sure she saw what she really saw. It was too scary for words. She noticed she still held the glass of water Sanji had given her. Maybe there was something in the water, Nami thought as she eyed it warily.

But Nami didn't have a chance to investigate any further. Brook's howls broke her out of her contemplation. She ran over to the railing and found Zoro and Brook with their swords drawn. They seemed to be in the middle of a duel. In a rare move, Zoro wielded only one of his sword, utilizing ittouryu instead of santouryu. His other two swords were set aside.

Nami couldn't help but watch them. Even someone as clueless as she was with sword-fighting had to see what was going to happen. It should be an interesting fight.

Brook charged first with lightning fast speed. Nami had a difficult time following his movement because he was essentially a blur. Zoro stood unperturbed, waiting for Brook to come at him. When Brook was about to reach him, Zoro stepped back and fluidly swung his sword. There was a sharp clang as something flew spinning into the air. Brook's sword struck the deck with a dull thud and the duel was over.

How anticlimax.

Zoro's lips curled into a wicked grin as Brook looked bewilderingly at his empty bony hands. It took a few moments before Brook finally noticed his sword had landed behind him.

"Yohohoho. Very good." Brook went to retrieve his sword, but was stopped by Zoro. His sword pointed at Brook's head.

Confused, Brook stepped back, his hands waving in the air.

Nami was little concerned at Zoro's unexpected behavior. What was he doing? Before she knew it, Zoro threw his sword aside and jumped Brook, seizing his shoulders. It was a tricky move to perform considering how tall Brook was compare to Zoro. Zoro had to climb up to reach him. It looked like he was trying to...

Nami squeezed her eyes closed and rubbed them, laughing all the while to herself. If she didn't know any better, she thought she saw Zoro trying to-

Nami took another peek. No way.

Zoro was kissing Brook on the mouth or teeth or whatever. He was all over the Brook, grabbing at his clothes and his Afro.

Nami froze in shock, but then relaxed when she remembered that everyone wanted to get in Zoro's pants. Two guys kissing, that was typical around here. The 70-year age gap, that was no big deal. Brook being a skeleton, well, that was a little hard for Nami to accept. Plus, she had no idea Zoro was into necrophilia, but who was she to judge. Brook probably had his lonely nights like everyone else.

Things were getting a little out of hand for Nami so she snuck off, shielding her eyes. It didn't help that they were grunting and panting like wild animals.

Nami headed straight to the library.

It seemed like a safe place to be. She had the place to herself most of the time so it was almost like her own personal space and she could work on her maps in there. To her disappointment, it was already occupied by Chopper and Franky.

Why were they in the library? They had their own personal workspace. More importantly, why were they arguing so loudly? Nami plugged her ears as she walked in.

"Pepsi!"

"Coke!"

"Pepsi!"

"Coke!"

"Pepsi is way better. It taste sweeter! We should get Pepsi!" Chopper shouted, waving his hoof at Franky.

"I use only Coke on the Thousand Sunny, and that's that," Franky said as he moved his hands to his hips. "Too much sweet is bad for you, Chopper."

"Pepsi is more carbonated than Coke. You can get bigger blasts with Pepsi!"

"Too much sugar will clog the Sunny."

"The Pepsi can looks better."

"Does not!"

"Does too! Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Nami! Nami!" Chopped took notice of Nami and trotted over to her desk. His huge eyes were brimming with hope. "Which one do you like better? Pepsi or Coke."

Nami peered up from her survey desk and answered slowly, "They're both taste the same to me. I can't tell the difference." She absolutely did not want to choose a side. She only wanted to pick up a few books and get out.

Franky harrumphed at her. "Why ask her?"

"You're just afraid she'll pick Pepsi."

"Like I care."

Truthfully, Nami was more partial to Dr. Pepper. Not that she wanted to tell them that. Their argument continued unabated as she left the room.

Outside she heard Zoro and Brook. They were still at it. For some stupid reason, Nami had go and look again. She wandered over to the railing and leaned down to peek at the deck below. She seriously wished she hadn't.

Brook was stripped naked, baring all his bones. His clothes were scattered all over the place. It certainly wasn't something to be traumatized over, but Nami felt like they had gone too far. "Get a room already!" she screamed at them.

Zoro stopped in the middle of fondling Brook's femur and glared up at Nami. "Tch, fine." He picked Brook up in his arms and they ran off to the men's quarter.

Just before the door closed, Zoro shouted back at Nami, "Last time I'll let you in my pants."

Now it didn't take a rocket scientist to see where all of this was going. With only two crew members left, Nami wondered just what kind of situation she would find them in. It could be amusing to find them in the bathhouse. Then again, after much thought did she really want to do that to Robin and Usopp. That would be too embarrassing. Better to be safe and pick out a nice sensible place.

The Aquarium Bar seemed promising. Surrounded by water and swimming fish, it was a calming place to be. It was also where all the booze was stored.

Nami carefully peeked in, wondering if she would really find Robin and Usopp here. Sure, everyone she seen today was acting weird, but that could be a coincidence, a strange anomaly like the weather. The Grand Line was full of them so why not the Thousand Sunny.

At first she thought no one was there and she was relieved. Her prediction didn't come true, but then she heard shouts and jeers from the other side of the bar.

"You couldn't hit the broad side of the barn if you tried."

Robin frowned, considering the knife in her hand. Nami gasped when Robin reached back and tossed the knife at Usopp. The blade struck a few inches away from his left ear.

"Ha! You missed again!" Usopp, who was tied spread-eagle to a spinning wheel, guffawed. "And you call yourself an assassin. My grandmother can do better."

A pair of hands appeared and stopped the wheel. Robin walked over and retrieved her knives, a total of six, from the wheel. "I see I am out of practice."

"Practice? You need more than practice. If you want, we can hold the wheel still and you can move in couple steps closer. I know it's harder for people your age."

Robin's eyes narrowed darkly. "Not necessary."

Was Usopp trash talking Robin? Didn't he realize the situation he was in? He was target practice with REAL knives. Nami was surprised he wasn't sweating like a hot dog and swearing he had a disease that needed immediate medical attention. It was like he had a death wish.

Robin ready herself and the wheel began to spin. Usopp only laughed. "Look out. Get your popcorn ready. Robin is going to put on a show for real."

Nami couldn't stand to watch and she had to get out of the Aquarium Bar. She was sure Usopp would be all right. Robin wouldn't hurt him. Then she thought it over some more. She was sort of sure. At least, Chopper was a good doctor.

As for herself, Nami was feeling a little left out of the circle. It would be nice if they recruited another member so they had an even number. Then again, she rather work on her suntan.


End file.
